The Power of the Moons

sigh! I was in absence of a subject to write. I thought maybe i should write about the same ol' topic, much discussed, much debated, much sought after i.e mush and relationship.

But, I think people and especially me have ODd on it. Thankfully while cutting a mango at this hour (new fetish) gave me some inspiration (see the mango with new eyes) and so, here i go again.

New topic: The Power of the Moons

One of the biggest turn-on for men have been women and their moons (I'm trying to be subtle). Men have always been fixated on the moons, no but(t) or bu(s)ts about it. We know that. As we know this, so do the men and they still are helpless against it. All we have to do is get the right gear, fit in it.. cast the illusion and make men delusional... bend over or stretch her arms or accidentally brush across the arm and ba-ba-boom, ba-ba-bang!

Women have always known the power of cleavage and we have honed our skills and weapons to caste the net, give a peek and reel the fish with great finesse. Small firms could be run on the amount women spend on buying asset enhancing products. We are spoilt for choice and the mrp is just an incidental aspect. Men also have their assets, but how many companies try encasing them in silk, satin, lace? [Though lately, some companies are trying to come out with 'Manties'. I am not kidding! manties are men undergarments with fancy trimmings, materials customized to accommodate (graphic images in my head are making me cringe). Obviously, men were feeling neglected. But, I sincerely doubt its success.]


Despite the fact that the moons have existed since the time of iconic Adam and Eve, their appeal and power hasn't diminished. Its is always fascinating to see amount of hoo-haa men have about cleavage. Some are happy just getting a peak of the strap while others long for that voyeristic glimpse of a fantasy.. the descriptions and ecstasy of some male pals on seeeing a pair of good rack or back wld make a woman feel like Scarlett Johannson (but she will pretend 2 be insulted, of course).

Men are capable of holding a complete conversation with the twins. We should feel flattered that they are not treated as inanimate subjects and subjected to such devout attention. I'm amazed the moons haven't learnt the art 2 blush yet independent of us! In fact, its really special when my moons are given road directions.. obviously i haven't tapped their potential yet.

Now, I know as women, we are suppose 2 feel demeaned by their marked preferences and references to our body parts. Of course, we feel threatened. We are being treated as objects and not as a person. Dear god! we are more than just a pair of T&A. BUT I don't think that is the case. Its not that men don't think women have brains. In fact, im pretty sure it doesnt matter to them anyways. Brains have nothing to do in this case. What they really do is respect our assets. They know we have it. The problem is that they think (which they really should'nt try with all the distractions) that the asset is independant of the face and address them directly. But really they are quite indiscriminating about their adoration. They worship one and all types. Give them that much credit!

If we are brutally honest, can women deny the privileges of these assets? Any smart woman will tell u the advantage of being well endowed. As I have said before, we women have perfected the art of peek-a-boo... and guess what is the most critical ingredient for it? Sure men enjoy the voyeuristic delight but if we account the number of excused challans, bills..... guess who has the advantage? All men try to do is demystify this enigmatic and provocative inner sanctum of women and they pay heavily for it. I'm am not saying that women should flutter their eyelashes at every sadaak-chaap who whistles at her.. in fact all she has to do is look at him sweetly and say "bhaiyaaaaa ji!" But women should not deny that they like being looked at. We revel in it and bask in the adulation. That is how women keep warm in mini-skirt in the middle of December. We dress for our pleasure but also reflective pleasure. In real its all a game... a mating game where women rule! Romeos and Juliet's of the animal kingdom...from ants to zebras... preen and strut their stuff. And guess who leads the kingdom?

Laugh forever!

O!- Hwai dungsyi - you bad little thing-said the woman, teasing her baby granddaughter. "Is Buddha teaching you to laugh for no reason?"
As the baby continued to gurgle, the woman felt a deep wish stirring in her heart.
"Even if I could live forever," she said to the baby, "I still don't know which way I would teach you. I was once free and innocent. I too laughed for no reason."
"But later I threw away my foolish innocence to protect myself. And then i taught my daughter, your mother, to shed her innocence so she would not be hurt as well."
"Little one, was this kind of thinking wrong? If I now recognize evil in other people, is it not because I have now become evil too? If I see someone has a suspicious nose, have I not smelled the same bad things."
The baby laughed, listening to her grandmother's laments.
"O! O! You say you are laughing because you have already lived forever, over and over again? You say you are Syi Wang Mu, Queen Mother of the Western Skies, now come back to give me the answer! Good, good, I am listening....
"Thank you, Little Queen. Then you must teach my daughter this same lesson. How to lose your innocence but not your hope. How to laugh forever." - The Joy Club.

functionally illiterate educated person

wheew!! long day at work but its a holiday tomorrow... thus i am up and still functioning at this hour..


I know i said that i will touch topics from the dreaded evening but its soooo last evening... maybe some other day


New topic


A dear friend mentioned today that I am definitely one of the 'functionally illiterate educated people' of this planet... I could take offense, only I am honest to admit that I wasn't too sure of what it implies. I could have randomly taken a poll (which I will lose) to check on the validity of the statement without understanding it or more easily, take it as a personal insult. But instead of refuting this statement, I am in fact trying to understand this term, do some research and see if the term is applicable to myself of not.

I suspect, one of the reasons my friend coined me with this phrase(in jest), is simply because I don't poke my fat, lazy brain about many issues. Headlines don't interest me much, nor does the political upheaval in Soho (just a random place or so I think), or the financial debt of our RBI, bull VS bear etc etc. It is not that I don't believe that I shouldn't be aware about current affairs, socio-cultural upheavals and movements, world-changing phenomenas... in fact contrary to belief I do manage to read newspaper and catch news on TV every now and then BUT its a deliberate effort which i don't enjoy much. And honestly, even when I do read news I end up remembering the seemingly most useless piece. Again, in all honesty I will admit that I don't have the IQ or will to process so many types and amount of information. But does that mean I am what I have been labeled?" Not really. By definition, I am An Aliterate person, one who is capable of reading and writing but who has little interest in doing so, whether out of indifference to learning in general or from a preference for seeking information and entertainment by other means. It fits me like a glove!

But as John Tilman writes in his blog: 'Why is everything massified in the system, rather than individualized in the system?' Our education system, professional life etc etc is all but a system which is applicable to one and all. The question is, why have we allowed these systems in our lives, do they govern us, are they unquestionable? Do we have a choice? Does it allow for self-comprehension and appreciation? Can u imagine how many people globally follow these systems day in and out without even knowing why? I would say that these are the aliterate ppl of this planet. I am not belittling these systems/routines/norms/processes, but following them out of sheer habit and sense or normalcy is being a zombie, mundane and regular. Freedom of uniqueness and allowance for eccentricities are nil. As long as there is a want to explore and curiosity to know more, one cannot be an aliterate person. There is a reason why so many sources and avenues are available to understand oneself and surroundings. Whoever wrote the definition was definitely not curious about 'other means' nor does he/she comprehend the fact that it’s the evolution which matters not the means which leads to be 'literate'.

On the other hand. by definition: "Literacy is the ability to identify, understand, interpret, create, communicate, compute and use printed and written materials associated with varying contexts. Literacy involves a continuum of learning to enable an individual to achieve his or her goals, to develop his or her knowledge and potential, and to participate fully in the wider society." I have friends who manage to make sense of Umberto Rico or Satre (they top my list of 'non-understandable') and archies. They are definitely intelligent beings who are literate BUT their distinction, in my eyes, lies in the fact that they have their OWN interpretation on these subjects. If one does the act for its sake and not their own, the purpose is lost. I would call them Functionally Literate Educated People (FLEP) simply because they have managed to evolve from just reading & writing to interpretation using whatever mediums.

So now that I have established that I am not illiterate (I am an aliterate), I shall tackle the 'functional' bit.

The term functional illiterate is often used to describe a person who can read or write to some degree, but below a minimum level required to function in even a limited social situation or job setting or those lacking the literacy necessary for coping with most jobs and many everyday situations. However, research also says "the functionally illiterate provide awe-inspiring examples of overcoming the most fundamental constraints in day-to-day life. They challenge the conventional assumptions of literate decision-makers in business and government." Example: individuals who can go through a supermarket, fill two baskets and know the total bill. (Mental math (for me) = superpower) (From this piece, what I understand is that these people are street smart!)

The reason why both these definitions vary is because the latter has taken in account of 'other mediums' and the various interpretation of being 'functional'. Let me digress a bit to give an example. Some while ago, my office loo went kaput. The problem… the flush handle broke. Now, i work with literate people, some functionally literate. but none of them would stoop to taking a peek into the water tank and fix the problem. I get it. It’s a loo. BUT these literate people would rather pee in the commode, which cant flush, than dip their hand in a water tank. Keep peeing; it’s a natural thing but dear god! Don’t add to another one's pee and make the place stink. This kept on the whole day. The plumber was nowhere in sight and I needed my release. Despite the worst possible odor there, I did take a peek into the tank and fixed the handle (thanks to my dad and use-friendly product design). It took me all of 5minutes.

Now, function implies a definite end or purpose that the one in question serves or a particular kind of work it is intended to perform. From the above example, the plumber had a very important role that day at my office. Now he might not be as literate as my colleague but his function is as indispensable. You might say that I executed his function, making him redundant. But as I am an aliterate person, who due to see-how, knew how to fix this small problem and did not limit myself to my designated function. (God save my office, if i had 2 take over their carpenter's job!) And what about the many literate colleagues who would rather see the problem and not do anything about it? The point being, it doesn't matter how and where you learn, or what you learn. As long as there is a purpose and function fulfilled, one is not redundant. Nor should our capabilities and functionality be limited to our education in terms of techincality or lend us a sense of superiority/inferiority. Functionality of a person does not depend on his/her being a valedictorian but the willingness to learn and contribute by whatever means and capacity. One can sign their name on a dotted line and be called a literate but unless he/she truly understands he/she is no better than a thumb impression.


So, till these definitions are re-drafted, I am much happier to be the kind of person who does her own gig and draws her own interpretation (that's why my boss hired me+my plumbing skills) and considers herself a functionally aliterate educated person! So dear friend stand corrected and welcome this new category.

The dreaded evening

So, I survived... with a lot of wine (not my preferred drink), lots of pc and Buddha smiles (i pose for all those Buddha statues in the market often), checking out the bling from the host (a sardar family) and their competitors (my family), checking out the hot women (there are no hot men in delhi) and almost ODd on snacks.

Now i have a hangover and feeling completely anti-social.

I am using a lot of backspace key simply cuz i do not know what what to write about. Should i talk about the family mafia? F&B? chaadhi buddies? the soon to be married couple? or the more entertaining topics of tyres under a sari blouse? plunging blouses with hairy backs (and other bodily parts)? effeminate and boorish men? how pink is the colour of the season (refer to FTV style guide)

In all probability, i will address all of the topics above but only after i have detoxed and used mouthwash to get rid of the bad aftertaste frm such an event...

Till then... sayonara

The quest'ion'

And so this evening i decided i shall write and write... the response has been overwhelming (liar liar! pants on fire!) and i shall only be to happy to oblige my audience (esp as I aim for 'world peace'). As most of my dear friends and non-dear friends know, lately I have been asked THE most crucial question is 'To be or not to be' married. (To my pals: Yes, I am still on this topic).

Like i mentioned earlier, my maternal family is a great believer of the holy state of matrimony. Well I don't particularly see what is so 'holy' about it. Is it that it’s legal? presided by a priest? regularised sex? option of unprotected sex and live with the consequence literally? buy condoms and birth control pills without embarrassment? Obviously I could never ask them these questions because these are 'unholy' thoughts on such a subject.

But lately, these questions or as I would say intrusions have become more insistent. On a given dayand time, I usually have only my mother to contend with on this topic (with experience this has become a piece of cake) or on my birthdays. Unfortunately, this coming Sunday, I will have 2 contend with the WHOLE family. Sigh! a childhood friend of mine (who is also related to me in very complicated manner) is finally getting engaged, though he has been 'dying' to get married for the last 3 years at least. Result, the whole maternal family is descending to delhi. Though he is dear and I pretend to understand, but he was (and I do hate to use the word) ’desperate’ to get married. But who am i to label people and their choices? No one. BUT when it leads to The Family (they are a mafia) questioning about my matrimonial 'aspirations' I am going 2 throw cusses at him. My stand with them since long has been-don’t use logic... stick to your guns, make sure they are loaded and aim well.

Their stand: Marriage is a wonderful wonderful institution, one could only be so lucky to find the right partner and be able to get companionship+friendship+wedding gifts+twin savings+partnership. One finds stability+functionality+commitment+maturity+reason for living+successors.

My response: 1. Shoot them all! 2. Tell them 2 look in a mirror. 3. Get a life! 4. Can I die now?

On a serious note: Who on earth has made marriage mandatory? When? Why? How? The Family mafia has never addressed these questions of mine. Most of the reasons listed above cover marriage only on a surface level. What about space? Independance? fun? As we grow, we define ourselves. Somewhere that identity becomes critical and mandatory for saneness. Is it that we cease to exist as individuals when we get married? I am selfish... I want to experience so much, there is still so much to do and explore, go bungee jumping every day, scale a mountain peak, live in Egypt, see Angelina jolie in person, get my PhD at 50. I want to die knowing that I lived first. What can I teach anyone about life when I haven’t finished my course? I am a speck in this universe, and a speck travels far and wide!

Phobia of 100%

Im getting old.. or so my relatives tell me... according to them what I 'need' to develop is a phobia of being a 'spinster'... sadly for them this phobia is lacking due to my Thapa genes (Thank god for inter-caste marriages, wheew!) BUT it did get me thinking, of my phobias etc, which for me is a rarity so "Thank you family!".

The topic: Phobia of 100%

I work in a publishing house... my keep is dependent on how many people my editor can convince to become writers... lately I have also been suggesting the same to those who qualify... however it seems there are many who want to write, can write, have subjects to write on but don't (I obviously suck at convincing/marketing/promoting etc etc). I'm not a writer and i sure as hell do not understand the big deal... (one would think someone would have come up with a scientific term for this phobia by now.. but then they might have and i'm too lazy 2 find out). I spoke to some friends and associates to understand why would they not to something which gave them pleasure. I quote "My thoughts are too private", " I don't seem to have time" " I would'nt know when to stop" and so on... My response "I need randomness not thoughts", "You are vella now chatting with me", "who said you have to stop?"

My question: Are we really not sure of what we want to do or are we waiting for that magical number 100 to figure somewhere in our psyche? Its the golden number. Those who manage to get it are worshipped. Perfection lies in that stick and 2 eggs. Seriously, I am surprized how come we havent depicted deiteies with 100 arms or 100 avataars. The fanatism with this number wld lead me 2 think that mayb we shld worship gandhari for her army of 100 sons.

Why do we abt being 100% sure of what they are doing, why they are doing what they are doing and stuff like that? is it not more simple to just 'go with the flow'. Do all questions have to be answered? I have never been an 100% student, daughter, friend or anything. The max i think i got was in 10th and that was 88% (have been in a happy state of decline since then). Is it not enough that we have so many social, family, professional, relationship rules that we need 2 apply these extra bars and eggs as well? What is with percentage and rules? Is it not simple to think 'do i want to or not' rather than 'am i absolutely sure' and the 'what ifs?" Most of us suck at being ourselves any which way.. so what is the big deal about trying something new, possibly like and being bad at it? How is it that one manages to get phobias of doing something they like?

Now i could chew on this more... but i cant think on one subject for too long, so ill be back with more soon but not 100% sure of it.